Parramatta River at Dusk. Photo taken by Anna.
"Rivers are places that renew our spirit, connect us with our past, and link us directly with the flow and rhythm of the natural world.”
~ Ted Turner
In Sydney I lived in a city called Parramatta which in Aboriginal means "Eel". The city was built along a river and apparently it had many eels. I know the lake nearby had eels because people would swim in the lake and sometimes be nipped by them. But the river wasn't clean enough for swimming.
However, I digress.
I was born in Tbilisi, the capital of Georgia. My hometown was also built along a river called "Kura" and for as long as I remember I have been drawn to rivers. Maybe that's why I moved to Melbourne - it's built along Yarra River.
For whatever reason, rivers do something to my soul. Maybe it's the consistent flow that serves as a reminder that whatever I'm going through, it too shall pass?
When I lived in Parramatta, I would regularly jog along the river, dance to music only I could hear at this wooden stage area, sit and write and just relax along the grassy banks.
However there were many moments when I would go to the river to cry.
(Cue Justin Timberlake's song Cry Me a River here).
Most of the time, I would drive to the river late at night and sit by the bank with one thought cascading through my mind: "I want to jump in."
But I never did.
I simply sat by the river.
And cried.
And cried.
And cried.
Until... I had no more tears.
Until the emotion passed and all I had left, was hope.
I wrote this poem on the 24th of May 2018. If you asked me what happened that day I couldn't tell you. I simply don't remember.
All I can say with absolute certainty is that this night, the river gave me strength when I felt I had none and hope when I needed it most.
So without further ado, I present to you the poem....
Parramatta River
Here I am
Again
Where the water
Meets
The land
Every
Single
Time
You draw me in
Well, not exactly in,
In
More like towards
Tonight, the water
Like a lullaby
Rocks smoothly
From side, to side
You’ve witnessed
So much of my life
My home
My shoreline.
Have I gone by
With many a person
By my side
Many a conversation
You have heard
Of tears and words
Often
Misunderstood
Many new beginnings
Many
So oh so many
Laughs and skips
And poems, too
You’ve lulled me from any jump
You’ve persuaded me
To keep going
When I’ve only wanted
To
Give up.
River
You seem to take me by
The hand
And show me
That If I surrender
Everything
Will be absolutely
Grand
Faith
In the flow of life
Because you know
That I struggle
To always know and
Be and do
What’s right
When I have none
And courage
When mines been done
And most of all
You are always there
When no one else
Is by my side
And why I always
Will return
You are a friend
Who listens
And speaks
With no words
You are my hug in winter
And my cool sight in heat
You are my comfort
And reminder
That everything
Will be okay
And whenever I feel lonely
You’re my ever flowing
Friend.
Founder and director of The Butterfly, Anna believes that everyone’s pain has a purpose. On a mission to spread hope and healing like wildfire, she teaches people how they too can transform their traumas. She is the author of Unmasking Depression and Lovely - Poetry on Love and Loss, workshop facilitator for “Own Your Inner Light - A Transformation Workshop” and 2016 semi-finalist in the Australian Women's Weekly and Qantas Woman of the Future. Connect with her on Facebook and Instagram for more stories and insights.